🔴 The Big Red Button

A Cautionary Tale in Software Development
Question: "If I make a form with a big red button that says 'NEVER PUSH ME WORLD WILL END,' how long do we have to live?"

📊 Predicted Timeline to Catastrophe

⏱️ Approximately 3.7 seconds after deployment to production
(Maybe 5 if you hide it behind a login screen)

⏰ Detailed Timeline of Events

T+0.0s: Button goes live in production
T+0.5s: First user sees the button
T+1.2s: "I wonder what it actually does..."
T+2.1s: "It probably doesn't really end the world..."
T+3.7s: *click*
T+3.8s: DROP TABLE users CASCADE
T+4.0s: "Oh shit"

⏳ Ways to Extend the Timeline (Spoiler: They Don't Work)

Add a confirmation dialog: +2 seconds (they'll click "OK" without reading)
Require typing "I UNDERSTAND THIS WILL END THE WORLD": +8 seconds (they'll copy-paste it)
Add a 30-second countdown timer: +0 seconds (they'll find a way to skip it in DevTools)
Put it on production on a Friday afternoon: -3 seconds (chaos accelerates near weekends)

💡 The Fundamental Truth

Never give users a button you don't want them to push.

They will push it. Every. Single. Time.

Especially if you tell them not to.

🛡️ The Only Safe "Destroy Everything" Button

Option 1: Don't Create It

The only truly safe "destroy everything" button is one that doesn't exist.

Option 2: Make It Actually Safe

If you absolutely must have a destructive action, require:

  • ✅ 3-factor authentication
  • ✅ Written explanation of consequences (500+ words, no copy-paste)
  • ✅ Approval from 2 DBAs
  • ✅ 24-hour waiting period
  • ✅ Biometric confirmation
  • ✅ Blood oath
  • ✅ Sacrifice of first-born rubber duck

And even then... someone will push it during a demo.

📚 Historical Precedents

Real-World Examples:

  • AWS S3 Outage (2017): Engineer ran a command to remove a few servers. Typo removed all servers. S3 down for 4 hours.
  • GitLab Database Deletion (2017): Engineer ran rm -rf on production database. 300GB of data deleted. 6,000 projects affected.
  • Knight Capital (2012): Deployed buggy code to production. Lost $440 million in 45 minutes. Company nearly bankrupt.
  • Every "Are you sure?" dialog ever: Clicked "Yes" without reading. Regretted immediately.

🎓 Lessons Learned

  1. Users will push any button you give them - Murphy's Law is real
  2. Labels don't matter - "DO NOT PUSH" is functionally identical to "PUSH ME"
  3. Confirmations are ignored - Everyone clicks "OK" by muscle memory
  4. Warnings are invisible - Red text is the same as black text to a user on a mission
  5. Friday deployments are cursed - Never deploy on Friday. Ever.
  6. Production is sacred - If it can destroy data, it shouldn't exist in production UI

✅ The Real Solution

Instead of a big red button, implement:

  • 🔒 Soft deletes (never actually delete data)
  • 📊 Audit logs (track who did what, when)
  • ⏮️ Undo functionality (everyone makes mistakes)
  • 🔐 Role-based access control (not everyone needs delete permissions)
  • 🚨 Alerts for destructive actions (notify admins immediately)
  • 💾 Automated backups (because someone will push the button eventually)

Remember: The button will be pushed. Plan accordingly.

"Any sufficiently tempting button will be clicked."
— First Law of User Interface Thermodynamics

Generated: November 2, 2025
Based on decades of production incidents and developer tears